I am what you call a cat. I can almost pronounce, in my language, this unusual name you have for us....”Caahhhhtttzz”... if I were in the mood. Also, I am not accustomed to the alphabet or, for that matter, in many of your unusual practices. We simply live our exclusive lives along side you.
Now, don’t misunderstand me as I transpose, we cats adore you on occasion...it’s just our desire to be the creature deciding on this adoration, and on our own terms. But I must say, from our perspective, we are very perplexed by some of your odd behaviors.
We watch you tending trees, and plant life out of the abode where we live...then, when the sun starts to take an early bow from our favorite warm spots, you (not all of you, but a good many of you) will fling open the cold doors and drag a large, rattling tree into our rooms! Often bringing along branches and bits from other plant life.
It’s an eye -widening wonder to us felines, and we can only conclude that you are doing this lovely deed for us, your adoring cats. It is, as we see it, your attempt to make us happy and playful during a time of year when our sun goes to shade. Then you provide us with wispy, twisty and scented sensations. You give us sparkley balls, and tail like ribbons. You bring us rattley papers to pounce upon, and cave boxes to hide in. All of which keeps our days occupied and stimulated, and for this we are truly grateful.
There are, however (and the primary reason I transpose these words to you) occasions where we have experienced contradictory behavior from you. This is not unusual, for we will never fully understand what goes on in that head. It is when you scold us for participating in some of these glorious rituals you have designed for us.
For examples:
*You prepare this glorious bird for us, only to let us have only a tiny bit ( we suppose this is for our own good, for we do better eating a solitary diet, but, that glorious bird takes exception to many things you offer us). Then, to our surprise, you and others like you, consume our treat.
* It also baffles us to no end , when you make loud noises as we sit upon the high area that you have laid out in cloth and the shiny instruments you have designed for our amusement. This is highly unusual, and we are forced to abandon our perch, because, frankly, you are just making too much noise for us to enjoy ourselves!
* And, while we are speaking of loud noises, we also find it annoying when you make these sounds while we are sharpening our claws on the large stuffed objects you have provided for us, or when we touch anything that is on the twinkling trees that you have brought to us, or when we want a closer look at our glorious bird. I will tell you, truthfully, that we often just wait until you are out of our way to partake in these activities so that we can enjoy them in peace.
Oh, there are some things that I must tell you not to bother with when you are trying your utmost to please us with surprises. I will list them here as a reference for the next time.
1) The fire on sticks or jars are a bit spooky, you can just as soon stop making them.
(However, the flames in the cave in the bigger room are of interest, so you can continue managing those.)
2) Forget the sucking machine thing that comes out frequently during this season of the tree...it’s a complete waste of time for us. (We are amazed that you keep pushing and pushing this thing, expecting us to come rushing out to enjoy ourselves, well, dear ones, it just is NOT going to happen, so just give it a rest!)
3) Do away with those colored bulb and wire ropes, we really don’t care much about them.
4) Skip the cooked brussel sprouts.
Well, I have said quite a bit up to now for I thought communicating might save you a bit of work. Also to let you know that, even though we think it unusual and mostly a waste of your time, that we appreciate your devotion to us. AND, most importantly, to give you some hints on how you can please us even more this tree season in the happy abode.
Yours Truly,
Jazz Ma Tazz, Spokes Cat
Phhhttt